Treating AvX With All The Seriousness It Demands

I know a lot of important events revolve around Earth in the Marvel Universe, so it isn't surprising the Avengers and X-Men would both assume they were the destination of choice for the Phoenix. Especially when we consider how Cyclops pinned all his hopes on the Phoenix. That doesn't mean everything is going to involve Earth, though. There's a big universe out there, full of all sorts of horrors and dangers.

So I think it would have been funny if the Phoenix wasn't headed to Earth at all. Maybe someone was letting the neutron galaxy out of the M'Kraan Crystal again. Or it wanted another rematch with Galactus. Or Thanos made it back out of the Cancerverse and is still pissed at Death (and everyone else). It just so happens, Earth was along the way.

Sure, it would be a remarkable coincidence the Phoenix would pass by (or through) Earth on its way to wherever it was really going. But it's also remarkably coincidental the Phoenix would need to pass through all those other worlds it destroyed on its way to Earth. I guess even cosmic firebirds need landmarks to navigate by. You think it'd know better than to go near Earth, assuming it wanted to avoid entanglements, but I suppose it couldn't anticipate Cyclops losing his damn mind, or Iron Man building a "disruptor". Really, Earth in the Marvel Universe is not a friendly place for tourists, is what I'm saying.

"Come to Earth! Be blasted into pieces, then have your abilities stolen by a bunch of fanatics for their own purposes! Then get yelled at once you pull yourself together and express displeasure at your treatment!"

Mostly, I like the idea because I picture Cyclops standing out in an open field, Hope next to him, as he waves a big sign. Giant Space Birds Welcome Here!, or something to that effect. The Phoenix approaches, closer and closer, close enough to see every detail. . . and then it keeps going. Passes right on by and back into space, like a meteor skipping across the Earth's atmosphere. And Cyclops is left standing there, the sign slipping from his grasp, a dumbfounded look on his face. Hope sighs and asks if she can go back to Utopia.

Meanwhile, the Avengers all high five and congratulate each other on a job well done saving the planet. Iron Man tries to take all the credit by claiming he sprayed the entire planet with "Phoenix Repellent" he had loaded inside special satellites. Everyone smiles indulgently, while thinking "jackass". The exception is Hawkeye, who actually calls Stark a jackass.

As for the Phoenix Force, it continues onto its destination, blissfully unaware of all the stupidity back on Earth. Oh, and it stops whatever the menace was, ensuring the continued existence of the universe. Everybody wins. Except the menace. Oh, and Cyclops.